If you hadn’t noticed, the past month or so has seen us witness a couple of ~fairly~ high profile weddings.
And after #DeepVeer and #NickYanka’s multiple ceremonies, it wouldn’t have been unfair to assume that the most lavish and extra Indian weddings of the season were behind us.
Well, little did we know that the real crazy rich Asians hadn’t even begun to party yet… And, holy shitballs, they didn’t come to half-ass it like those other plebs before them.
Afp Contributor / AFP / Getty Images
The Ambanis basically rented out half of Udaipur to host the “pre-wedding” festivities of their daughter Isha Ambani’s marriage to Anand Piramal.
That’s right. The Ambanis took over the Oberoi Udaivilas, built an entirely separate “Swadesh Bazaar” for their guests, set up a Manish Malhotra pop-up store, and regaled their guests with multiple other amenities… and it wasn’t even for the actual wedding.
Of course, a party can only be as posh as its guest list, and the Ambanis didn’t skimp there either. Some of the attendees included ALL of Bollywood, former presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, and Beyoncé Fuckin’ Knowles.
The number of high-profile guests flying in for the wedding actually caused some infrastructure hassles at the Udaipur airport.
According to reports, over 200 chartered flights were scheduled to fly in and out of the city over the weekend just for the wedding.
And then, after everyone worth arriving had arrived, the festivities actually began:
1.
Nita Ambani kicked things off with a devotional performance in front of a HUGE aarti set up facing Lake Pichola.
2.
That would prove to be the most understated moment of the night, because it was followed by the entire Ambani clan dancing to “G.U.J.J.U.” from Kal Ho Naa Ho.
WATCH: #MukeshAmbani, #NitaAmbani and others shake a leg at #IshaAmbaniSangeet in Udaipur.
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#IshaAmbaniWedding #IshaAmbani #AnandPiramal
The jury is still out on how ironic they meant the performance to be.
3.
Then they got Salman Khan – the man who has done entire films where there are zero scenes not featuring him or characters talking about him – to become a background dancer for Anant Ambani… on a Shah Rukh Khan song.
WATCH: @BeingSalmanKhan matches steps with #AnantAmbani at #IshaAmbaniSangeet on #KoiMilGaya song..
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#IshaAmbaniWedding #IshaAmbaniPreWedding #AnandPiramal #AmbaniWedding
Turns out, there are certain people Bhai can be forced to become humble for.
4.
If one Khan wasn’t enough, they then got Shah Rukh to dance with the fam to “Shava Shava”.
WATCH: @iamsrk dances on #SayShavaShava with #MukeshAmbani, #NitaAmbani and others at #IshaAmbaniSangeet in Udaipur..
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#IshaAmbaniWedding #IshaAnandWedding #IshaAmbaniPreWedding #AnandPiramal #ShahRukhKhan
5.
And just so they could complete the holy Khan trifecta, Aamir was made to join in too.
WATCH: @iamsrk and @aamir_khan come together along with @juniorbachchan & #AishwaryaRaiBachchan to bring the house down with #MukeshAmbani, #NitaAmbani and others at #IshaAmbaniSangeet
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#IshaAmbaniWedding #IshaAnandWedding #IshaAmbaniPreWedding #AmbaniWedding #AnandPiramal
To say that the general public wasn’t impressed by the forced nature and the tackiness of the whole thing – despite the Ambanis having literal billions of dollars to spare – would be underselling things.
6.
With the Khans out of the way, next in line were Bollywood’s other royals – the Bachchans – marking attendance with a performance to “Tere Bina” from Guru.
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With so much of the film fraternity on display, Karan Johar obviously manifested from somewhere, and danced with the bride-to-be to his own songs.
8.
At some point, SRK came back on stage to perform with his wife, Gauri. This one is only worth pointing out because Gauri Khan never performs anywhere, but she performed for the Ambanis.
(If you’re keeping count, the Ambanis had already got the three Khans, the Bachchans, and Karan Johar to perform for them till that point. To date, there hasn’t been a single award show in India with that much star power on display.)
9.
Once the local entertainment was out of the way, on came the star of the entire show (other than the money)…
10.
Beyoncé grooved to some of her greatest hits, even as all of us wondered how much the Ambanis had shelled out to get her for what is essentially a private function.
Look who’s here! #Beyonce slays the stage at #IshaAmbani and #AnandPiramal’s pre-wedding celebrations.
11.
Like, I know it’s tacky to discuss. And the Ambanis can spend their money however they want. But come on, you know you’re thinking the same question.
For reference, a Guardian report stated that she was paid $2 million to perform at a private New Year’s gig eight years ago, way back in 2010. We all know how much her profile has grown since then.
The whole thing confused the hell out of a lot of non-Indians who weren’t aware of how truly staggering their wealth is.
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If you’re still questioning how much influence the Ambanis have, remember Priyanka Chopra – the woman who got married less than 10 days ago? They even got her to prepare a performance.
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And if you thought Deepika and Ranveer managed to escape their clout and enjoy their newlywed life without getting sucked into this celebrity vortex… NOPE.
Newly weds @RanveerOfficial and @deepikapadukone shake a leg along with @AnilKapoor, #AishwaryaRaiBachchan and @juniorbachchan at #IshaAmbani’s pre-wedding celebrations.
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Meanwhile, some more cash was spent on an Isha Ambani performance with fancy lasers and lights and shit.
Mesmerising! Bride-to-be #IshaAmbani delivers a magical performance at her pre-wedding celebrations last night.
15.
And then there was an afterparty which, for what it’s worth, seemed a little more loose and fun.
However, not everyone was impressed by the truly staggering opulence on display here.
The obnoxious display of wealth and power at the Ambani wedding should anger all Indians. They built their empire on countless deaths, human rights violations, environmental destruction, and they have direct control over our politics and politicians.
It wasn’t just the fact that all the celebs seemed to be there as part of an Ambani power play, it was that a lot of it seemed very tacky considering how much money they had blown.
Of course, for most people, it was just amusing to see a whole lot of influential celebrities being reduced to “the entertainment”.
Nothing is more funny than seeing our so called mega stars in d richest family of India. All their mega stardom, self respect and ego goes down the drain the moment Ambani family beckons. Money always sings the sweetest tunes…and makes the high & mighty stoop so low..
Anant Ambani: When i perform on stage, i need some good Background dancer.
Mukesh Ambani: OK i will arrange Salman Khan
Like, seriously. If the Ambanis were trying to show off how much money they have, job done.
Ambani has made Salman and Ranbir the background dancers lol. Each invitation card was of Rs 300000 . Holy shit man. Money makes the mare go like always.
But as far as putting on a classy show goes… maybe the actual wedding in Mumbai will be better.
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