Why Ciara Felt She Was ”Failing” as a Single Mom After Future Split: ”None of It Was Ideal”

Ciara isn’t afraid to admit that she’s shed a few tears over her ex-fiancé, Future.

During a candid interview on Red Table Talk, the “Level Up” songstress opened up about the heartache she felt after her split with the 35-year-old rapper and what it was like being a single mom. They are parents to Future Zahir—Ciara’s first child and big Future’s fourth.

“I’d have moments in the shower when I would be crying,” she told hosts Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith and Adrienne Banfield-Jones. “I had a few moments when I’d be crying in different settings—crying in the bedroom, crying in the shower…”

“I’d be crying because I am not in the happiest place, and it hurts what I’m going through,” she continued.

The two musicians called it quits nearly five years ago after rumors swirled that Future allegedly cheated on the “Ride” singer.

While the 33-year-old star has found her forever love with Russell Wilson, whom she married in 2016 and shares a daughter Sienna Princess Wilson, Ciara still remembers the pain she felt after her and Future’s breakup.

“None of it was ideal,” she said, especially since she had just welcomed her son after their split.

“I grew up with my mom and dad being together, the idea of it being, ‘Mommy and Daddy made baby,’ and then all of a sudden you’re living your life in front of the world,” the “Goodies” star explained. “‘I feel like I’m failing right now, [people are] gonna roast me, here they come in the comment section. I’m about to get fried.’ All that stuff, it’s real. You can’t help but to think of it.”

However, for her it was more important to not feel like she was “wasting my life,” which is what led her to move on.

“You realize that time does not stop and it would be the worst scenario to stay in a situation that is just not healthy, [that] is not gonna get any better.”

When the Seahawks quarterback came into the picture, she explains feeling something she never felt before. “When Russ came into our lives, Future was 10-months-old. It was different.”

“I never had that feeling in my life… it was just calm,” she said with a smile.

For Ciara, Wilson’s bond with her son was something deeply special to her. “To love me, is to love my son,” she expressed, adding, “It’s just a different level of love.”

The 33-year-old star revealed that she couldn’t be happier with her blended family. In fact, she dished that she wants “at least two more” kids with Russell.