A Definitive Ranking of Euphoria’s Complicated Couplings

When it comes down to it, we don’t think any of the Euphoria characters belong together.

If we could sit these teens down and offer them some advice, we’d likely tell them to invest in themselves instead of their significant others. And maybe we’d warn Cassie (Sydney Sweeney) and Maddy (Alexa Demie) that Nate (Jacob Elordi) has darkness in his eyes. But we’re not a counselor at Euphoria high and this is a fictional show.

So, we’ve settled for ranking the couples from somewhat healthy to incredibly toxic (we’re sure you can guess who falls under the latter category) because, let’s face it, none of these couples can really be held up as shiny examples of what love should look like. 

In just one and a half seasons, we’ve seen these characters cheat on each other and endure appalling emotional and physical abuse, none of which should be applauded or glorified. But as Eric Dane recently told E! News, this show is more a “cautionary tale” than it is an aspirational story.

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